How Debbie Wasserman Schultz Does It
NEW YORK TIMES
MOTHERLODE – ADVENTURES IN PARENTING BLOG
How Debbie Wasserman Schultz Does It
By DEBBIE WASSERMAN-SCHULTZ and KJ DELL’ANTONIA
Friday, April 19, 2013, Weston, Fla.
9:30 p.m.: Coming home from the airport, I call Steve, my husband, to be rescued from a staffer’s car stuck in an exceptionally long guard gate line. As I do most weeks, I spent the past week in Washington. I’ll spend the weekend juggling family and constituents. I’m home, but I’m still working.
Steve agrees to come, but our 9-year-old, Shelby, is bringing two friends, twins, over for a sleepover. He wants to be home when they get there, and we just make it — they’re all three in the driveway with the twins’ dad when we pull up. We invite their dad in. Our house has its normally chaotic, cluttered look; our dogs greet us all as we come in. Welcome home!
9:45 p.m.: The girls’ dad leaves. Steve suggests Shelby and friends go for a night swim with our new puppy, who could use a swimming pool bath. The girls jump at the chance.
9:55 p.m.: I play basketball with our 13-year-old, Jake, with part of me feeling that I need to watch President Obama’s news conference on the Boston Marathon bomber capture. Jake hounds me to stop typing this and play. When I turn on the television later, worried about what I missed, I find that Steve recorded it for me — without my asking — so I could keep playing.
10:15 p.m.: Jake’s done playing basketball. We go inside. I suggest we play a game. I tell the girls they have five more minutes in the pool. Steve goes to bed — he woke up at 3 last night and couldn’t sleep. Shelby and her friends (and Demmy, one of the dogs) go upstairs.
10:45 p.m.: Play “Anomia” with Jake. Girls come down for a snack.
11 p.m.: Jake decides we should watch a “good show” together. We make popcorn, which I burn (I like, Jake hates). We watch “Tanked,” a reality show about an aquarium shop. I mark up a speech I’m giving at my small-business workshop tomorrow morning. Jake and I talk about school and baseball. I ask if he’s done his homework (he has). His twin sister, Rebecca, calls from a friend’s house and asks if I am picking her up from her friend’s at noon tomorrow to take her bathing-suit shopping. I explain I probably won’t have time to do that, so she asks if we can go to Barnes & Noble “just me and you.” We laugh that that won’t be a problem because she and I are the only book lovers in the family. Good conversation. I tell her I’ll pick her up after the workshop.
11:30 p.m.: Jake goes upstairs to play Xbox and go to bed. We go back and forth over him being home tomorrow afternoon. He wants to go to his best friend’s house during the only block of time I’m home for the rest of the weekend. Jake tells me he wanted me to watch his baseball game tomorrow, but it starts at the time I leave for the airport. I tell him his friend should come to our house. He complains about my working out of town on the weekend when I just got home. My heart hurts.
11:45 p.m.-1 a.m.: Review speeches for tomorrow, review other work, watch coverage of Boston Marathon bomber capture.
7-7:45 a.m.: Wake up, spend some time with Steve before we get out of bed to start our Saturday. Cat jumps on bed for morning ritual of sitting on top of me insisting on me petting him. We watch a “Daily Show” episode from last week.
8 a.m.: Get up, get ready for my annual small-business workshop.
8:30 a.m.: Shelby and friends come into our (messy) bedroom. Shelby and I laugh about how my home office is worse, so, of course, she goes and shows her friends.
8:45 a.m.: Laurie, my staff person, arrives to drive me to the event.
9 a.m.: Steve calls Dunkin’ Donuts to make sure they have fresh bagels. He takes the girls with him to Dunkin’ Donuts.
9:15 a.m.: Leave with Laurie to go to the event at the Broward County Convention Center. We stop at Starbucks to grab my morning Frappuccino. I say hi and chat with the manager, whom I’ve come to know since I’m there every morning I’m home.
9:30 a.m.-12:45 p.m.: Small Business Expo. Our sleepover guests go home with their father. Jake sleeps in. In the afternoon, Steve will take Shelby to ballet.
12:45 p.m.: Laurie and I leave the convention center to pick up Rebecca from her friend’s house.
1:30 p.m.: Rebecca, Steve and I sit riveted as we watch the moving pregame ceremony on TV of the Boston Red Sox game honoring first responders, heroic citizens and Boston Marathon volunteers. I cry through the ceremony. Rebecca says, “Oh God, Mom!”
2 p.m.: I leave to take Rebecca to the bookstore and to our favorite sandwich shop, Cheese Course. Driving, talking with Rebecca, catching up on her week, life, she asks my advice and actually takes it. This is such important time.
3:45 p.m.: Pick up Shelby at ballet. Rebecca goes in to get her. They watch Rebecca’s best friend, who attends the same ballet school. Shelby comes out and asks if her friend Delaney can come over; then we decide on a sleepover. Delaney’s mom reminds me we are both late on our name-plate craft for the ballet performance coming up. I will need to help Shelby next weekend after I get home.
On the car ride back, Shelby and Rebecca go back and forth in (reasonably) friendly banter about who is going on a better trip with Mom this year. Shelby also informs me that she thinks her full dress rehearsal is next weekend, when she will be in D.C. This is a big problem since her flight has been booked and paid for and she can’t miss the dress rehearsal.
4 p.m.: At home, Rebecca and I eat lunch. Steve tells Rebecca to feed the dogs. She protests, says Shelby should do it. Shelby says she always does it. Steve does it, not too happy. I mention the possible conflict with Shelby’s flight and ballet dress rehearsal. We decide to wait for confirmation on rehearsal times before changing Shelby’s return flight, which will cost money. Shelby and Delaney do a bracelet craft at the counter.
4:30 p.m.: I clean up from lunch and realize I need to go to the drugstore for hair product before my trip. Rebecca asks if she can come.
5:15 p.m.: Rebecca and I drive home. Rebecca goes upstairs to read one of her new books. I sit down with Shelby and Delaney while they play a game, and I fill out a form for Rebecca’s youth group membership and check e-mail. I get an e-mail from my travel staffer reminding me to take my D.C. house keys with me, which I forgot in Florida last week. I had to use her key all week. Steve goes to Walmart to get a tent for Shelby’s soccer tournament tomorrow morning. Delaney is coming with him to watch Shelby play.
6:15 p.m.: I go upstairs to pack for my trip. Rebecca asks me to help her send away for replacement sunglasses that she lost. I go down to get the sunglasses case, go back upstairs, climb up on her loft to help her. Then I start packing. I need to leave for the airport no later than 7 p.m. for my flight to Cleveland.
6:30 p.m.: I ask Rebecca to come read her book in my room to keep me company while I pack. She says O.K., but takes a while. I ask again and she climbs in my bed to read while I’m packing.
6:45 p.m.: I’m looking for my D.C. house keys, which I cannot find anywhere in the house. I’m running out of time. I have four still-not-unpacked suitcases in my room from prior trips. No time to look through them, and I can’t remember what’s in them. Look for empty travel-size bottles to fill with my new hair products, which are too many ounces for carry-on. Have to empty old hotel shampoo bottles.
7 p.m.: I rush to grab my phone chargers and change clothes for the flight. Let Rebecca know her youth group forms are filled out and on the dining-room table. Zip my carry-on bag closed.
7:10 p.m.: I call out to Steve that I’m leaving and will see him next Saturday when he meets me in D.C. for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Kiss Shelby goodbye and remind her that I’ll see her Wednesday when she comes up to D.C. to spend two days with her friend and friend’s grandparents. She will fly as an unaccompanied minor. Out the door to head to the airport for my flight at 8:13 p.m.; airport is a half-hour ride.
On Monday, our house cleaner will come and spend the entire day cleaning the house and doing all the laundry, including putting it away. While we certainly recognize that this is a luxury, we decided it was worth budgeting for. Laundry became a stress point for us. When I ran for Congress and gave birth to Shelby, our third child, I knew that there was no way I could come home from D.C. every week and spend the entire weekend sorting laundry, washing laundry, folding laundry and putting away laundry while arguing about how much of it Steve and the kids could have done while I was away. Steve resisted at first, but it was one of the best decisions I ever made, because it gave me some of my most precious commodity: time.
During the week, Steve handles almost all driving of kids to sports (all three play on a travel team), ballet, math tutor, etc. My parents live five minutes from us in our hometown, and they help drive the kids when needed and can pick them up from school most of the time if one of the kids is sick and Steve can’t leave work. I handle the kids’ school needs, monitoring assignments and what they need for projects, etc. I do a lot of this remotely, and have throughout the years, by telephone, fax and iPad. Project supply purchases are done on the weekends when I get home. I am also the parent who communicates with their teachers when necessary, helps them choose their courses, etc. Steve’s brother and sister-in-law live 15 minutes from us and can sometimes help when we need another adult pair of hands when I’m out of town.
I won’t be home again until next Sunday.